Gotta Catch ‘Em All

pokemon-go

Pokemon Go has seriously broken the Internet in a much more iconic way that Kim Kardashian ever could have (sorry for reminding you of that dark time). There’s a reason for that. When playing Pokemon, whether PoGo or any of the games before, the player is immersed in a parallel world full of adventure, thrilling battles, and cute, friendly creatures that are so easy to get attached to. For many people, including me, Pokemon has served as a way to escape from life. Even though I believe that it is important to be present in the real world, sometimes there comes a point when the real world is a little too much.

For me, that point was around sixth grade. This was the transitionary age where I was starting to be introduced to the real world . The real world is a terrible and confusing place, completely contrasting the structured and happy world of elementary school. I started becoming aware of death, poverty, inequality, oppression even if I didn’t completely understand it. Pokemon was a safety bubble for me during this time. I was something I could understand completely and conquer from sheer effort. It empowered me in a time when I felt powerless compared to the ways of the world.

Of course, the game that shaped my late childhood didn’t start off being that big of a deal to me. My mom brought home a few GameBoy games from work and Pokemon FireRed happened to be one of them. Even though I’d seen stuff about Pokemon at Walmart and it looked stupid to me, I decided to try it against my better judgment. I got my pink GameBoy Advance SP out, plugged in the game, and waited for it to light up my screen. I distinctly remember thinking the music was pretty cool, and I liked the big dragon thing on the starting screen, which I later learned is Charizard and would become a favorite Pokemon of mine.

I think I became hooked on the game right around reaching the Viridian Forest. At that point, the starter I chose, naturally Charmander, was already becoming like a friend to me. I also became obsessed with evolution because of the Bug Pokemon found in the forest. They were fun to evolve because they were fast-paced. Little did I know at that point, the game has a compelling storyline as well as the feeling of freedom and adventure. That’s what I really liked about the game: it feels like the world you’re in is your own. I was still too young to really explore my surroundings alone, so this filled a void I’d longed for.

I enjoyed the game over a long period of time, 2 years to be exact. I didn’t want to rush getting to the end because I enjoyed it so much. At this point, my all-star team consisting of Charizard, Dragonite, Kabutops, Lapras, Raichu, and Kadabra were my favorite things ever. We explored every part of Kanto, defeated the Elite Four after MANY, MANY tries, and ALMOST caught Mewtwo… Because of that, I have great times and great memories with those Pokemon. I took them on vacation with me, to school… Everywhere.

In those times of confusion and lots of learning, Pokemon brought me happiness. I “grew out” of it for a little bit while I focused on other things. The truth is, no one ever really grows up. There are two ways to handle your inner child: fight it or embrace it. Because I’m still so young, yet I’ve already learned a lot, I know the importance of embracing the inner child. For that reason, I’m walking miles around my little town every day. I think of all the times I wished Kanto could be real. Now, Kanto is everywhere and that brings me so much joy.

To any adult playing Pokemon Go, keep it up. Live the dream you’ve had for years longer than I did. To any child starting your Pokemon journey, good luck. And to anyone who tries to dismiss any player as stupid or lazy, stop. To enjoy the simple pleasures in life is to live.

Please read some of other articles similar to this one!! I recommend Resurrecting the Inner Child and To Be a Kid Again 🙂

AMK

 

Carbon Copy

 

carbon

It is very difficult to hop back into a passion which has been neglected for months. My thoughts are all over the place, and I feel as though I am unable to harness them into intelligent speech. I can’t capture them. This makes me wonder why I quit writing in the first place. I truly love it, no matter how hard it is sometimes. I wonder; though I don’t need to wonder. I know exactly why I stopped writing, the same way I know exactly why I stop doing pretty much anything I enjoy. I, though I thoroughly regret it, am sadly a person guilty of conformity.

Social acceptance has always meant so much to me. As a child, I cried when other kids didn’t play with me. As I aged, I continued to cry over my peers, but it was when they said fatuous statements about me, and I was smart enough to know how to hide my tears. Middle school was terrible for me. It was then that I realized if I acted like the other kids, they wouldn’t hate me, and I could finally be accepted as one of them. I dropped all of my own interests, became a carbon copy of every other girl in my grade (all of whom were much less mature than me), and went along my merry way.

Now, I’m in high school. In fact, I’m halfway done with high school. Even though I’m halfway done with the point in my life where I’m supposed to find who I am and start my path, it has been nothing but confusion. I always start to enjoy something and enjoy it a lot, but then the ingrained thought process of conformity begins to seep its way into my mind, and the enjoyment stops. That leaves me with nothing. Why do I fear to be myself? I’ve already decided that I won’t let anyone change me. That promise I made to myself means nothing if there isn’t a me to change.

In most of my posts, I make a definite answer to all of my questions; a confident one at that. In this post, however, no questions are being answered. I’m very confused and still trying to figure out how to be myself after years of rejecting anything that defines me. The only thing I know is that over the summer my main goal is to rekindle my past interests and watch myself grow again. From now on, I am not drifting through life as a spectator. I am living life as me, Aaliyah.

AMK

Whenever You Feel Like You’re Not Perfect

pexels-photo

Stop.

Stop thinking like that. It’s not helping anyone. You’re only hurting yourself. There are only so many people in this world that are there for you. You should be one of them.

Why do you feel like you’re worthless? You must be watching too much TV, seeing perfect celebrities walk across your screen. You must be endlessly scrolling through social media and looking at your “friends'” perfect lives.

You think to yourself, I’m not perfect. I know every single of my flaws. I’ll never be like the people around me. 

And you’re right about two things: you are able to recognize your own flaws and you’re not like anyone else. You’re unique and beautifully flawed. You’re wrong about something, though. You shouldn’t compare yourself to an unattainable idea constructed by others.

If you want to be perfect, change how you see the word. Instead of thinking perfect is not having a hair out of place, see perfect as the way your hair wisps around your face. Perfect should be what makes you different. 

The universe continues to spread because of disorder in the atoms that make it up (and dark matter and dark energy but science isn’t really sure what it is). You, a universe of consciousness, will continue to grow and change because of the quirks within you.

What you see as bad qualities are not bad at all. They are a part of what makes you who you are. They make you different. They make you perfect.

Whether it is your appearance or your personality, you should not hate yourself for your flaws. You should embrace your flaws and grow from them. By learning from your negative qualities, you become a better version of yourself.

By pretending like your flaws don’t exist, you become a hollow shell of yourself. An entire part of your personality is missing when you throw a huge part of yourself away. People don’t get the entire, magnificent picture of who you are.

Maybe you try to give them a complete-looking picture. You fill the places you erased with things that aren’t you. You took these things from other people who you think are perfect.

Suddenly, you lose who you are to what you’re trying to represent: perfect. The posts you make on social media become a chore where you struggle to achieve a standard.

It feels terrible to lose your sense of self to the urge to become the ultimate example of perfect. Don’t let yourself get that far. Always remind yourself these three things when you’re feeling un-perfect:

  1. Flaws are okay to have
  2. You decide what perfection is
  3. It’s so much more interesting to be unique

AMK

(Not-So) Happy Endings

In a past post, I professed my undying love for books (Read I’m Bookish and I’m Proud!) I love literature, books in particular, because of the lessons I am able to learn from the experiences of others. These experiences can be real or they can be completely made up, like in the series I just read. I still find valuable lessons from fiction and nonfiction because they both can teach me how people interact with each other and the nature of life.

The series I just read had dragons, elves, dwarves, beasts and magic. It was a very compelling series with characters I grew attached to over four books. The main character is about my age so I related to the struggles he feels when becoming an adult, falling in love, and finding himself. His dragon suffers from an identity crisis as well as a superiority complex, making her an arrogant but all the more lovely character. The main character’s love interest (who had feelings for him) ends up with a dragon who bonds with the main character’s. The main character’s brother is fate’s fool who falls in love with the main character’s liege-lady.

 

Continue reading

Fearing the Inescapable- Anger From Others

The biggest fear I’ve had to face…?

Angering others.

Anger is omnipresent. It’s unavoidable, inescapable; yet I still tried to escape it. I tried with all my might with the hope that I could flee from its death throes.  I’m the kind of person to want everyone to like me. It doesn’t matter who the person is, I don’t even have to like the person, I’m driven by an unseen force to make them find me likable. All of this is well and dandy- it helps me maintain friendships and stay nice to everyone I meet- but as soon as someone doesn’t like me, my self-esteem takes a huge hit.

The way I lived was terrible. I lived for others, not for me. Everything I said was what I thought others would want to hear; everything I did was to please another person. I felt like everyone’s puppet, being led around by silvery strings. The irony was that I was the one holding the strings. I was in complete power of myself, yet I let others lead me around. That’s madness.

It’s madness because I CANNOT always tell what other people want. Trying to please others is a gamble that’s usually a losing one. I do, however, always know what I want. For that reason, it should be my top priority to say and do what pleases me, and not what I think others will like. I’ll never feel happy if I’m always giving my happiness away for others to enjoy.

The struggle came when I forced myself to change my ways. In order for me to be happy, I had to step on some toes. At first, it was heart-wrenching to know that I offended someone. The thought killed me from the inside-out and usually left me apologizing profusely and making excuses. As time went along, I found the happiness idea more and more appealing, therefore I became much less sensitive to the disapproving glances when someone else didn’t get their way.

Starting to actually do things for myself, I realized all the anger I had pent up just because I didn’t want to make others feel that way toward me. The frustration of many years of dissatisfaction slowly seeped from me. I felt cleansed as it left. I began to see the balance in keeping others happy as well as keeping myself happy. It’s known as compromise.

I now strive to never let my opinion go unsaid. Communication is vital in all connections with people to stay healthy. I know that if I didn’t say anything about how I feel, the anger would slowly build inside of me. Anger roaming the body sure isn’t healthy. I also know that healthy relationships don’t involve constant arguing and demanding what I want. I give and I take, and so life continues.

Facing this fear caused me much trepidation. I know now that I overreacted with making people mad in the first place. They usually only stay mad for a few minutes and eventually forget what took place. I would much rather that than live with my own anger pooling in my veins all the time.

AMK


This post is one in part with Finish the Sentence Friday! Host Finding Ninee always has more in store! The bloggers in our little group are very interesting and always worth the time to read!

Grounded by Memories

I came home feeling rather tired and foggy, like the day had taken every ounce of life that coursed through my veins. The said day was long and tedious. I just wanted to lay down and take a nap. But I had slept for nine hours the night before so I knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to oversleep even more.

I felt disconnected to everything. At that time, the world and my existence and how they all relate made no sense. It was bothering me. I wanted to figure out exactly what was wrong, but I could not.

I did what any normal girl would do… I talked to my mom. I didn’t tell her about my problems, though. I just told her about my day at school. How some of my teachers suck, how some of my teachers rock. My assignments. One of which is my monologue, which I went online to show her.

The monologue I’m interested in reciting for English class is from a TV show I used to watch every night, Adventure Time with Finn and Jake. I went on YouTube to show my mother what speech I would say. Then I ended up staying on YouTube for another hour watching various scenes from Adventure Time.

They were everything I remembered… Funny, stupid, but deep all together. I laughed deeply at each clip I watched and thought to myself, This feels right.  The world and my place in it seemed to be connected again.

After I watched enough Adventure Time scenes, I moved on to music videos. I listened to the songs that reverberated through my room every night in middle school- She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5, Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day, and Simple Man by Lynard Skynard to name a few.

A single tear escaped from my eye as I listened to the music I love. I felt so calm, and so happy. I had a moment where I was myself and solely myself; I had no negative thoughts clouding my mind at all.

This made me realize we are grounded by our memories. Though we grow tall and high, we must never forget about our foundations and the support underneath us. For this reason, I will return to the music, places, movies, shows, feelings, and times of my beginnings.

AMK

 

Under Construction 

Hello, readers!

I’m nearing 100 of you which is really exciting for me 🙂 For that reason, I’ve decided to start cleaning up my blog. I have quite a few goals in mind and it’s going to be a lot of work to accomplish!

Organization-  I want UnderstandingAdolescence to be seamless in reading. The posts should flow effortlessly, and the tags should help my readers get to where they want to faster. I hope to change my theme and tags in order to make my blog easier for all of you to enjoy.

Connectivity- Of all the great and popular blogs I follow, I’ve noticed that all of them make sense. There are connections throughout the blog that make the blog seem whole and put together. I will start to tag other posts within my posts to connect my blog in this way.

Beauty- Though the simple layout of my blog evokes a relaxing area where all ideas are acceptable, I want the aesthetics of UA to be sleek and uniform. I will not get rid of my love for color, nor will I sacrifice the comfort within the blog.

Community- I want to start including others in my passion more. I read the blog posts of others, but that’s not enough. Coming soon will be guest posts and featured blogs! I’m very excited to include all of you more and bring you closer in my blogging circle.

Thanks again for being a UA reader!

AMK