It’s time to welcome me back, finally. I was hoping that with my arrival I would bring good tidings. In my ideal world, my sister would be home, I wouldn’t be so tired all the time, and I wouldn’t have two quizzes and two tests on the same day. I’m not living a fantasy so I don’t get to say any of that happened. But I can say that my first time away from blogging has taught me valuable lessons, which I ,of course, love learning. I’d much rather have Anna at home, gracing me with her personality, but at least this way we’re both growing as people. Now, without further ado, I shall recall what I’ve learned from my time away from blogging.
A break is okay sometimes. My “goodbye” post was me trying to convince myself that I needed some time to think about things. I still didn’t believe that breaks were good and I was hesitant to even leave. My time away from WordPress showed me that it really is a good thing to heal whenever times get tough. Life is stressful enough when Anna’s gone so I should not give myself more stress by continuing to push myself to do something that I am not capable of. Now that I’m back, I’m ready to bring my A-game.
I will not always fizzle and burn. There’s a reason I’m so afraid of not pushing myself. Ever since I was young, I would find something that interests me, but I would always end up quitting it when I stopped putting forth the effort to do what I loved. This is how I lost my passions for art, reading, softball, playing video games, and photography. It’s taken me years to renew my interests and I was always afraid that if I stopped doing something again, I would lose it. With blogging, I was anxious about starting up yet I still proved to myself that I’m capable of keeping the flame of my interests from going out.
I obsess too much. I thought about when my next blog post was going to be, what it was going to be about, if it would be any good, and whether or not I would give up. I drove myself crazy. Yes, I missed writing and yes, I missed my blogging friends. Leaving still isn’t a big enough deal for it to occupy my mind and make me worry. If I could let go and not think about what bothers me so much, my life would be so much easier. I can bring the worry-free mindset into all aspects of my life, including my appearance, the way people look at me, and whether or not people like me. I’m such a worrier and I just need to cut it out.
I think it’s strange how you learn the most about yourself when you go through pain. It would be so much easier if happiness brought forth self-learning. In happiness, there usually isn’t struggle, and struggle is what causes lessons to be learned. Now that I’ve given myself plenty of time to heal and think through things, life is going on for me. I’m going to blog, I’m going to play Fable, and I’m going to NOT let my circumstances stop me from living my life.
It sure is good to be back.