My Kryptonite is My Enthusiasm

My kryptonite is my enthusiasm. It’s usually a good thing to charge into life head on, but I end up getting too attached to something I can’t control. I also end up fizzling out because I push myself too hard, and make my love into my worst enemy. I consider my enthusiasm to be my kryptonite because in the same way that it weakens Superman, a seemingly unstoppable man;it weakens me even when I’m at my strongest.

Whenever I try something new, and I enjoy it, I usually become hooked. I think about nothing else but my new hobby. I ponder what I can do next and how I can get better. It makes me excited because it’s all I want to do. But, when I start getting used to the hobby, and it becomes habit, I lose interest in it. I’m very unforgiving with myself. I don’t want myself to not be interested in my hobby anymore, so I punish myself whenever I decide that I’m not in the mood to do something. Eventually, after an extended amount of time of self torture, even thinking about the activity makes me feel completely repulsed.

For example, when I first started seriously crafting, I went into it full force. I attended flea markets every week so I could get beautiful rustic craft supplies, I made really pretty stuff, and I wanted to start selling it. After school started, I crafted less and less. I punished myself for not doing it instead of accepting the fact that I was too busy from the demands of high school. What started out for enthusiasm for crafting turned into a nagging voice inside my head that pierced me like a dagger. I stopped crafting all-together, and I have no plans to start again because of the damage I’ve already done.

When I was a child, doing hobbies came naturally. I drew lots of pictures, I especially loved designing dresses. I liked doing small crafts that occupied my hands and my mind. I also read books for hours on end. Seeing what other kids did made me want to stop doing what I loved. I quit drawing because there were better artists than me in sixth grade. I quit crafting because my friends started going on Facebook, and that was too time consuming to even consider doing projects like mine. Worst of all, I quit reading because it was “uncool” to do so.

I truly regret quitting all of the things I love to do. I think that’s why I punish myself the way I do, I want to stop myself from going astray. It may be benevolent, but it still makes me weak. Kryptonite itself could have been an invention made to do good. Yet, it hurts all the inhabitants of planet Krypton and the impenetrable Superman himself. I need to quit the self-punishment, because Superman wouldn’t purposely expose himself to his own weakness.

When I fell in love with my boyfriend, I gave every waking minute to tend to our growing relationship. It’s been a year now. I’ve already accepted that I can’t give him the same amount of time that I used to, and it’d be unhealthy to. This shows me it’s possible for me to move past obsession. I should treat hobbies like my love, knowing that interest waxes and wanes depending on the day. I should treat myself to engaging in my hobbies whenever I please, but when I just want to watch a Lifetime movie, I should welcome myself to do that, too.

AMK

This post is apart of Finish the Sentence Friday! To read other posts, go to www.findingninee.com where you can find the rest of the links.

In addition, what are your past or current hobbies? Feel free to comment below. 🙂

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12 thoughts on “My Kryptonite is My Enthusiasm

  1. I still don’t know if the things I do are hobbies or not. An unhealthy habbit that I have is that I just like you obesess over the new things I bring into my life. Once I start feeling overwhelmed I quit sometimes. For me the intrest comes back and then I start slowly incorporating it into my life. Scrapbooking for example.
    Also creative writing. But that is more of a life purpose than a hobby.
    I would guess that blogging is my hobby now though it might also turn into something I need to do to be happy and express myself.
    I enjoyed reading your text. Try slowly bringing back your passions and go cautiously about it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good plan! The Tortoise and the Hare never seem to disappear from life… I’ve been going slow with reading. I can’t do the new style of reading, with social media. I prefer to do it the old fashion way: get a book I know little to nothing about, read it alone, and get lost in that world.
      It’s good to relate to someone, especially someone that can give good advice. Thanks for visiting!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I fizzle out, too. In fact, I nearly fizzled out of blogging but hung in through a rough patch and here I still am. But, like you, I get excited about things. Most days I feel like I can conquer anything and I like to try new things, but life doesn’t allow for me to do EVERYTHING, so there you go…
    It was so nice to stop by here this week!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve been trying to balance things out… A little here, a little there. I like to believe that I can still do everything, just over a more reasonable amount of time. I appreciate your visit! 🙂

      Like

  3. I don’t think that your changing enthusiasms are necessarily unhealthy or disappointing. You are in a stage of your life where exploration is your primary job. Once you get older (like me!), you’ll have plenty of other things to do for others (kids, husband, etc.) and you’ll have even less time to explore. So enjoy your kryptonite-infused enthusiasms and explore your wonderful world!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I do think that in limited amounts, my enthusiasm is a beautiful thing! The problem I have with comes when it actually stops me from doing what I love. Thanks for visiting 🙂

      Like

  4. Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says:

    I used to take piano lessons when I was younger, but it didn’t come easily to me so I quit. Now, I wish I had stuck with it more. I would say blogging is my current hobby, but I have come very close to burning out with it more than once!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve always wanted to take piano lessons! My sister did and she said it improved her focus. I’m also glad you kept persevering through writing your blog, which I’m going to check out later. Thanks for visiting 🙂

      Like

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