It should be as easy as going to school, learning, and using the rest of the day to focus on other days. But it’s not. Sitting still with a teacher speaking in a lulling tone about subjects that I could care less about is difficult enough, but adding a long distance relationship, the latest gossip, sports, and what’s for lunch to a student’s mind during class makes retention very difficult. Nearly impossible sometimes. I’m a strong believer that education is beautiful; I want to become an English professor. I’m just saying that education is hard, especially with all the stuff going on in my head at the age I am.
Distractions all around me, I sometimes look for a way to free myself from the mayhem. I consider my mind a wandering nomad, never staying in the same place or calling anywhere in particular home. I think about my boyfriend, the book I’m reading, my blog, where my agenda could be, and so much more. Within my mind, I feel a sense of freedom. I can think about whatever I want, with the only limit being my imagination. I drift in and out of class, going from being wherever I want to be to where I have to be.
Focus is such a difficult thing, because I’m finally learning the power my brain has and I’m constantly wanting to exercise complete control. I know that it obviously isn’t good to not pay attention in class, and I’m too good of a student to let my grades fall. It’s a guilty pleasure of mine though, sometimes I put my pencil down and let myself drift into a fantasy that only I can see. I’m a daydreamer, and daydreamers are lost when they can’t touch the pristine world of dreams at least on rare occasions.
Balancing my love for zoning out and my passion for learning is a good thing. I keep both in check that way. I never let myself slip from reality too long because I have grades to maintain. At the same time, I never let myself worry about my grades for too long because I can always escape to paradise if it’s needed. I know a lot of adults have a difficult time with stress. It’s impressive to me that I’m teaching myself ways to deal with something people older than me can’t seem to figure out. I’ll tell my teacher that if I’m caught lost in myself during class, and see how far it gets me past a detention.