Sitting at the lunch table all alone, I had nagging thoughts telling me that if I was normal, I wouldn’t have any issues making friends or talking to people. My whole life, I’ve struggled to be what normal is and have gone into extensive thought about what it could be. At times, I changed the way I acted, the way I dressed, and even the way I talked to try to achieve the uncertain normal. It was stressful, because all of my peers seemed to have figured out what normal was, and were happily living in their place; when I tried to be like them I felt uncomfortable and sad.
Then, the thought came to me like an item shipped from Amazons overnight service, instantly. If I can’t find a definitive answer to something in 4 years, maybe I’m looking at it the wrong way. I pondered on what could possibly be flawed in my logic. Everything seemed so set in stone about what normal is so I didn’t see what I had wrong. That was it. Normal is not a thing, but an idea. Therefore, there’s no way that normal could have a cookie-cutter definition.
This makes sense, because of the nature of normal. What is normal in my high school may be normal in the high school one town over. It may be a little weird in a school from another state. But in another country, everything would be completely foreign. A “normal” adult would go to college after high school. But in a place where college is too expensive to even think about, that would be unheard of. A “normal” family consists of the atomic set-up: a mom, dad, and two kids. But in reality, normal is a mom and a sister and four cats (maybe not).
It’s time to start taking my mom’s advice of staying true to who I am. I need to find my own sense of normal. I’m never going to be happy changing myself trying to find another person’s, because I’ll never know what their normal is. Thinking in silence, reading books for fun, dressing in neutral colors and pastels, and enjoying all sparkling drinks are apart of my newly discovered normality. I’m going to do what I do best, which happens to be what I just listed. If anyone tries to tell me I’m not normal, I’ll tell them their point is invalid.